Roadside Bars of the Uncanny Highway – U.S. Route 28

Tags

20th Century, American Horror, Americana, Ghastly Affair, Gothic Gaming, Gothic Horror, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Groovy Horror, Middle America, Midwest Horror, Prairie Horror, Road Trip, Rural America, Seventies, Sixties

Like the other generators in the “Uncanny Highway – U.S. Route 28” series, the following tables assume a time-frame of the mid 1960s to mid 1970s.

Initial Impression of the Bar

d10	The bar is named for…
1 – 2	a woman. (“Shirley’s”, “Mother’s Bar”, “Flo’s Place”, etc.)
2 – 4	a man. (“Jake’s Roadhouse”, “Harry’s”, “Nick’s Pub”, etc.)
5	an animal. (“The Stallion”, “Eagle Inn”, “Black Cat Tavern”, etc.)
6	a local geographical feature. (“Mount George Inn”, “Black River Tavern”, “Bald Hill Bar”, etc.)
7	an occupation. (“The Miner”, “Trucker’s Tavern”, “Huntsman’s Lodge”, etc.)
8	an inanimate object (or objects). (“Cannon Club”, “Big Rig Inn”, “Five Nails”, etc.)
9	a foreign locale. (“German Inn”, “Old England Bar”, “China Saloon”, etc.)
10	another kind of business or establishment. (“Junkyard Bar”, “The Abbey Lounge”, “Factory Bar”, etc.)

d12	The bar’s sign is…
1	intact neon letter above the door
2	neon and above the door, but with 1d4 letters burned out or broken.
3	cut out letters affixed above the door.
4	cut out letters affixed above the door, with 1d4 letters missing.
5	nicely painted above the door.
6	crudely painted above the door.
7	painted directly on the front door.
8	a wooden plaque affixed to the facade.
9	a painted banner hang above the door.
10	just a painted A-frame standing outside the door.
11	lettered on the front windows.
12	apparently missing.

d12	The exterior of the building is…
1 – 2	a flat-topped brick structure.
3 – 5	a flat-topped wooden structure with clapboard siding.
6	an ordinary wooden house.
7	an ordinary brick house.
8	a faux “Tudor” (half-timber) structure.
9	a faux Polynesian (Tiki) structure.
10	faux adobe (or actual adobe in the Southwest).
11	a faux “Old West” saloon with a “boomtown” facade.
12	a railway car.

25% chance of one or two gas pumps outside building. If there are two, one will be regular gas, and the other diesel.

d12	The bar appears to attract primarily…
1 – 2	blue-collar workers.
3	bikers.
4	truckers.
5	old men.
6	Country Music fans in cowboy and cowgirl outfits.
7	college kids.
8	young singles looking for partners.
9	people of a single ethnicity (other than white American).
10	police.
11	swinging couples.
12	the gay community. (LGBT+ people, but that term didn’t exist in the 1960s or 1970s.)

d8	The condition of the building is…
1	excellent.
2 – 4	generally good.
5	poor due to neglect.
6	poor due to obvious vandalism.
7	badly weathered.
8	mostly good, but there are bullet holes in the side.

d8	The parking lot is…
1	very small, but only partially filled.
2	very small, and completely filled.
3	moderately sized, and largely empty.
4	moderately sized, and half empty.
5	moderately sized, but mostly filled.
6	large, and largely empty.
7	large, and half-filled.
8	large, half-filled, and evidently a popular trolling ground for prostitutes.

The types of vehicles in the parking lot will be consistent with the primary patrons. Motorcycles in a biker bar, pickup trucks for Country Music fans, station wagons for suburban swinging couples, etc.

Inside the Bar

d20	The interior décor is…
1 – 5	unremarkable / consistent with the bar’s name and exterior.
6	filled with military memorabilia.
7	filled with local memorabilia.
8	filled with music memorabilia (appropriate to primary patrons).
9	a faux Irish pub.
10	faux German.
11	faux Medieval.
12	a faux barn.
13	Viking-themed.
14	Mexican-themed.
15	filled with hunting trophies.
16	filled with fishing trophies.
17	festooned with Christmas lights.
18	nautical-themed.
19	Tiki.
20	psychedelic.

d10	The behavior of the patrons is….
1 – 4	like those of any average bar of its type.
5	rowdy and belligerent.
6	friendly and welcoming.
7	extremely unfriendly to outsiders.
8	joyless, and oddly mechanical.
9	quietly menacing.
10	the complete opposite of what one would expect.

d20	The inside smells primarily like…
1 – 8	cigarettes.
9 – 10	cooking meat.
11 – 12	deep-fry oil
13	sweat.
14	incense.
15	mold.
16	dirt.
17	body odor.
18	rotten wood.
19	dry wood.
20	nothing in particular.

d20	The floor is…
1	faux-brick linoleum (or vinyl).
2	faux-wood linoleum (or vinyl).
3	faux-stone linoleum (or vinyl).
4 – 5	patterned linoleum (or vinyl).
6	badly-cracked, faux-brick linoleum (or vinyl).
7	badly-cracked, faux-wood linoleum (or vinyl).
8	badly-cracked, faux-stone linoleum (or vinyl).
9 – 10	badly-cracked, patterned linoleum (or vinyl).
11 – 12	black and white checkerboard tiles.
13	bare concrete.
14 – 15	badly-worn wood.
16 – 17	stained wood.
18 – 19	painted wood.
20	wood parquet.

40% chance the floor is covered with sawdust.

d100	If the floor is searched, you will find…
1 – 9	nothing special besides cigarette butts and beer. (If floor is sawdust, beer will be soaked up.)
10 – 11	an especially large quantity of nut shells.
12 – 13	dead insects.
14 – 15	someone’s wallet (with d100 dollars).
16 – 17	a glob of spit, still wet. (Roll again if floor is sawdust.)
18 – 19	spattered paint. (If floor is sawdust, paint is underneath.)
20 – 21	food wrapping from a nearby eatery.
22 – 23	1d6 spent bullet casings.
24 – 25	dried blood.
26 – 27	a condom (25% chance to be used.)
28 – 29	a set of house keys.
30 – 31	a pair of panties.
32 – 33	a lady’s stocking.
34 – 35	a pair of men’s underwear.
36 – 37	a woman’s anklet.
38 – 39	a wedding ring (Equal chances to be a man’s or a woman’s.)
40 – 41	a broken necklace.
42 – 43	broken glass.
44 – 45	a lost police shield.
46 – 47	a child’s toy.
48 – 49	a store receipt (25% chance the combination of items has disturbing implications. For example: rope, plastic sheeting, duct tape, nylon stockings, a dog collar, bleach, and a set of knives.)
50 – 51	a phone number written on a napkin.
52 – 53	“Help” written on a napkin in a woman’s handwriting.
54 – 54	a business card.
55 – 56	an unexploded firecracker.
57 – 58	unused tickets for a local Amusement Park.
59 – 60	a strange occult design faintly scrawled on the floor in chalk.
61 – 62	a woman’s shoe.
63 – 64	the broken heel from a high-heeled shoe.
65 – 66	a man’s shoe or boot.
67 – 68	a severed finger. (50% either a man’s or woman’s.)
69 – 70	1d4 human teeth.
71 – 72	a small, bloody knife. (Any sawdust on the floor will be stuck to knife along with the blood.)
73 – 74	a page from a Bible, with a verse circled.
75 – 76	a page from a phone book, with a name circled.
77 – 78	a religious tract.
79 – 80	a gemstone, evidently fallen from a ring.
81 – 82	a muddy shoe-print.
83 – 84	a small puddle of urine. (If floor is sawdust, urine will be soaked up.)
85 – 86	two halves of a ripped photograph. (Equal chances to be of a man or a woman.)
87 – 88	a watch. (25% chance to be an expensive brand.)
89 – 90	a dead mouse.
91 – 92	a live mouse.
93 – 94	a crumpled break-up letter.
95 – 96	a broken pencil.
97 – 98	a chicken bone.
99 – 100	a local guidebook, with a bloody fingerprint.

People and Events

d8	The bartender appears to be a(n)…
1	attractive young woman, (5% chance she is also the owner.)
2	young woman, (50% chance she is also the owner.)
3	handsome, middle-aged man, (25% chance he is also the owner.)
4	middle-aged man, (75% chance he is also the owner.)
5	attractive middle-aged woman, (75% chance she is also the owner.)
6	middle-aged woman, (75% chance she is also the owner.)
7	older man, (85% chance she is also the owner.)
8	older woman, (95% chance she is also the owner.)

d100	…with…
1 – 3	one eye.
4 – 6	an obvious scar.
7 – 9	missing teeth.
10 – 12	glasses.
13 – 15	a lisp.
16 – 18	a filthy mouth.
19 – 21	a dog behind the counter.
22 – 24	a pistol on their hip.
25 – 27	notably large breasts / muscles.
28 – 30	badly dyed hair.
31 – 33	an out-of-date hairstyle.
34 – 36	unfashionable clothes.
37 – 39	a very fashionable outfit.
40 – 42	a flamboyant manner of pouring drinks.
43 – 45	a distinct lack of education.
46 – 48	an obviously high level of education.
49 – 51	strange jewelry.
52 – 54	many tattoos. (50% likely to be blue prison tattoos inked with cigarette ash and spit.)
55 – 57	a bad leg.
58 – 60	a bad attitude.
61 – 63	a sympathetic ear for all patrons
64 – 66	no interest in hearing your problems.
67 – 69	an uncanny insight into their patrons’ true desires
70 – 72	seemingly endless stories about their past.
73 – 75	a “catch phrase” that they always seem to work into any conversation.
76 – 78	extremely racist and prejudicial opinions.
79 – 81	an eagerness to share the Good News of Jesus Christ.
82 – 84	strong belief in various conspiracy theories.
85 – 87	professed psychic abilities.
88 – 90	a hatred of hippies and “reds”.
91 – 93	a sympathetic view of hippies and the counterculture.
94 – 95	an encyclopedic knowledge of liquor.
96 – 97	an eagerness to share the teachings of their Guru.
98 – 99	a strangely archaic way of speaking.
100	a striking resemblance to someone famous. (10% chance they actually are that person – or their clone!)

d100	Your attention is attracted by…
1 – 11	a fight breaking among 2d4 patrons.
12 – 13	a man with a flamboyant cowboy outfit.
14 – 15	a pair of identical twins.
16 – 17	a man with a loaded pistol set in front of him.
18 – 19	a plain, small, and unassuming woman who is easily consuming more whiskey than seems possible. She has already drunk several men “under the table”.
20 – 21	a nun.
22 – 23	a beautiful woman, dressed like a high-fashion model, and wearing sunglasses. She drinks alone.
24 – 25	an artist drawing portraits.
26 – 27	a photographer taking snapshots.
28 – 29	a police detective showing someone’s photograph to patrons.
30 – 31	a nervous man who stares at everyone entering the bar.
32 – 33	a silent man in sunglasses, wearing a black suit and fedora. His briefcase in on the table or bar.
34 – 35	a man playing solitaire with an a strange set of cards.
36 – 37	a woman reading palms.
38 – 39	1d4 clown(s).
40 – 41	a Native American, dressed in a traditional outfit.
42 – 43	a group of 1d4+1 men playing “pinfinger” or “five finger fillet” with a knife and their outstretched hands.
44 – 45	a man with 1d4 obviously frightened young women.
46 – 47	a preacher (or other devotee) handing out religious tracts.
48 – 49	a young women approaching one patron after another, begging for a ride.
50 – 51	1d4 hippies.
52 – 53	a middle-aged woman looking for her husband.
54 – 55	a man with a long white beard hanging to his belly.
56 – 57	a breathtakingly beautiful woman who is collecting free drinks.
58 – 59	1d4 police who have entered the bar to make an arrest. (If the bar primarily serves LGTQ+ people, the police may be arresting the patrons. If the bar has strippers, the police may be arresting the dancers, or the owner.)
60 – 61	1 or 2 masked men with guns who suddenly burst in and demand money.
62 – 63	a dog wandering around the bar.
64 – 65	a black cat wandering around the bar.
66 – 67	a man who runs into the bar, yelling that he just encountered a U.F.O.
68 – 69	a man who runs into the bar, yelling that he just encountered a famous local ghost.
70 – 71	a strange creature briefly visible in the window.
72 – 73	a fire breaking out in the bar.
74 – 75	a section of the ceiling collapsing.
76 – 77	1d4 people in archaic outfits.
78 – 79	an obnoxious drunk stumbling into everyone and everything.
80 – 81	a man so drunk he falls off the bar stool unconscious.
82 – 83	a glowing ball of light that moves slowly across the room.
84 – 85	inexplicable banging or tapping sounds.
86 – 87	a muffled cry for help, but from no obvious source.
88 – 89	a bullet (or rock) crashing through a window.
90 – 91	a hitchhiker you’ve previously seen on the side of the road.
92 – 93	an unaccompanied child walking into the bar.
94 – 95	a woman running into the bar, screaming that she just escaped a kidnapper (or killer).
96 – 97	an African-American man with a guitar, who sits down and pours a dark powder on the ground around himself while he mutters something about keeping the “hellhounds” away.
98 – 99	a family who suddenly enters, seeking help for their broken-down automobile.
100	an automobile crashing into the bar!

Obviously out-of-place or annoying patrons will eventually be asked to leave by the Bartender.

Food and Drink

d6	The bar serves…
1	a unique cocktail made nowhere else.
2	a wide selection of beers, but only a small election of spirits.
3	a seemingly endless selection of alcohol.
4	especially stiff drinks.
5	watered-down drinks.
6	only local brands.

A normal 1960s or 1970s roadside bar serves 1d4 brands of beer, and 2d6 other liquors. In most bars, all the beer will be one of the big national brands. Modern-style craft beers are basically non-existent, but small regional and local brands do exist in some areas.

d6	The food is…
1	nothing but bar snacks. (Potato chips, peanuts, pretzels, popcorn, pickled eggs, etc.)
2	expensive, but high-quality.
3	both good and cheap.
4	greasy.
5	an unexpected, exotic cuisine.
6	disgustingly inedible.

Attractions and Amenities

d20, 1d10 times.	Other attractions and amenities include…
1	a dart board.
2	pool table(s).
3	1d6 strippers / burlesque dancers. (Mostly topless in the 1960s and 1970s, but full nude dancing exists in some places after 1969. Stripper poles aren’t introduced until 1972.)
4	a jukebox.
5	a stage for live performances.
6	a dance floor.
7	a television.
8	a pay phone.
9	a mechanical bull.
10	air hockey.
11	a foosball table.
12	a skee-ball machine.
13	various board games that can be played by patrons.
14	an electro-mechanical gun shooting game.
15	a pachinko machine.
16	pinball machine. (Or video game, after 1978.)
17	slot machine. (Or video poker, after 1979.)
18	1d4 bowling lanes.
19	a room for private parties.
20	lodgings.

There can be multiple examples of the same attraction or amenity.

d12	The bathroom is…
1 – 4	unremarkable.
5	the haunt of a local drug dealer.
6	disgustingly foul.
7	covered in graffiti.
8	surprisingly clean.
9	filled with a mysterious odor.
10	very cramped.
11	cavernously large.
12	apparently a popular spot for casual sexual encounters.

The Bar’s Secret

d100	The most shocking fact about this bar is…
1 – 15	only that the staff is paid “off the books”.
16 – 29	it’s Mob owned, but otherwise a regular business.
30 – 38	it serves underage patrons.
39 – 40	it has failed every health inspection, but somehow remains in business.
40 – 41	all the liquor is bootleg, but put into “legitimate” bottles.
42 – 43	it’s crawling with vermin.
44	the bartender is actually a Vampyre.
45	it is used as a hunting ground by the local Vampyres.
46	the bartender is actually a Werewolf.
47	it’s used as a hunting ground by the local Werewolves.
48 – 50	it’s haunted by the ghost of the first owner.
51 – 52	it’s haunted by the ghost of person murdered here.
53 – 54	it’s haunted by the ghost of a dog (or other pet).
55 – 56	it’s patronized by Demons and Devils.
57 – 58	it’s patronized by Angels.
59	it’s patronized by the Devil himself (or another major Infernal power). (d4: Satan is… 1 = looking to make a deal. 2 = on holiday from Hell, and just want to be left alone. 3 = drowning his sorrows from the loss of his latest love. 4 = expecting someone.)
60	it’s Death’s favorite hangout!
61	it’s used as a neutral meeting ground by the powers of Heaven and Hell.
62 – 63	the owner is a KGB agent.
64 – 66	it’s used for CIA mind-control experiments.
67	some of the drinks are actually potions that grant magical powers.
68 – 69	it’s a meeting place for Demon Hunters.
70	the local Fairy Folk meet here “after-hours”.
71 – 72	auctions of sex slaves are held here “after-hours”.
73 – 74	the basement is a way station for human trafficking.
75	the basement contains an entrance to the Underworld.
76	it’s built atop an Indian burial ground.
77	it’s actually a disguised space-ship, and the owner is an extraterrestrial.
79 – 80	many of the apparent patrons are actually ghosts.
81 – 82	its used as hunting ground for a homicidal maniac.
83 – 84	it’s a front for illegal gambling.
85 – 86	it’s a front for prostitution.
87 – 88	it’s a front for drug dealing.
89 – 90	it’s infested with vermin.
91 – 93	the meat served is actually roadkill.
94 – 95	the meat served is actually from animals not normally eaten by Americans.
96	the meat served is human flesh.
97 – 98	the small library and reading room in the back, stocked with classics and quality literature.
99 – 100	it is owned by a celebrity.

The Engine of Oracles

~ Daniel James Hanley's Creations For Gaming. Home of the Ghastly Affair RPG.